NHL Playoff Previews – Semifinals

I’m a little late on this since the Detroit Red Wings already downed the Chicago Blackhawks 5-2 in their opening game.  It’s a long series, though, so this is still a valid preview post.  Plus, I think this is going to mostly be about why I hate the Red Wings anyway.  Feel free to add your reasons in the comments.

Alright, let’s start with the Eastern Conference since I know less about it.  The Pittsburgh Penguins ousted the Washington Ovechkins in 7 games to advance to this point.  The Carolina Hurricanes topped the top seeded Boston Bruins in overtime of Game 7.  Both of these series were absolutely incredible.  Too bad they were on Vs. and I didn’t get to see any of the games.  At all.  Thanks Mediacom.

So the upstart Canes will meet last year’s runners up in the Eastern Conference Semis.  Sidney Crosby and Evgeni Malkin will be the two main playmakers for the Pens, while Eric Staal and Cam Ward will try to get Carolina back to the Stanley Cup.  Can Ward fend off the mighty Pengiuns’ attack?  I don’t think so.  He’s great, but not that great.  Penguins in 6.

Now on to the Western Conference.  This Blackhawks-Red wings starts like a Blues fan’s nightmare but in reality, it’s not.  Tradition dictates that I should hate the Blackhawks, just because that’s what I’m supposed to do.  I dislike them, sure, but I wouldn’t call it hate.  I’ve been to several Blues-Hawks games and Hawks fans are pretty funny with their insults.  They’re the kind of fan that you could go have a beer with after the game and share a few laughs.

Not so with Wings fans.  Say one bad thing about their messiah, Steve Yzerman, and they go nuts.  The only reason for this is because Yzerman is the only player they know and he retired in 2006.  Most of their fans have to take the tags off their new “Datsyuk” jerseys before they get to their seats.

Detroit also sports the term “Hockeytown” on their center ice logo.  Now, I’m never in favor of stupid statements but this one may be the worst.  First of all, how do you qualify a statement like that?  Was there a fan poll that I missed?  Did the NHL committee dub Detroit “Hockeytown?”  I doubt it.  Most Red Wing fans didn’t realize that hockey existed prior to 1995.  If I were to label a town “Hockeytown,” I’d probably go with the obvious choice, Montreal.  Their 24 Stanley Cups and hockey rabid fanbase kind of makes it a one horse race.  I guess the NHL polled the hobos in each hockey market and Detroit won.  Good for them.

For all you non-hockey fans who have gotten this far and think this is sour grapes, let me put it into different sport terms.  Your typical Red Wing fan is also a Yankees fan, or a Lakers fan, or a North Carolina fan.  You know that as soon as someone tells you that he or she is a fan of one of these teams, you immediately dismiss their legitimacy.  You know you do it.  There’s a good reason why you do it.

Anyway, back to the series.  I’m not picking the Red Wings.  They may have more talent, experience, and a 1-0 lead already, but they suck.  They will always suck.  Hawks in 5.  And Hawks fans, you’ll have to buy me a beer when you all win the Cup.

And as an endnote, Tomas Holmstrom is the worst player in hockey.  He cannot shoot, he cannot pass, he cannot skate, and he does not play any defense.  He is fat and can deflect pucks.  He is a donkey.  I hope someone “Scott Walker’s” him.

Edit:  I hope Matt Walker does this to him

4 Responses

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