Do you hear that distant noise? That’s Lebron James throwing a party.
Usually I go for a run at this time, but since it decided to pour rain when I got off work, I’m reading sports articles instead. Unfortunately, everywhere I go, I find articles like this one. I’ve stated before that I just don’t like basketball, so this is venturing into unknown (and probably unwelcome) territory for me. Luckily for me, it’s not real basketball news; in fact, it’s not real news. It’s kind of dumb. If you haven’t heard already, LeBron James didn’t shake hands with anyone after the Orlando Magic beat James’ Cavaliers in the Eastern Conference Finals. He also didn’t show up to a post game press conference.
Story ends there, right? Of course not.
Assuming you haven’t been living under a rock, you know that it’s Election Day. So, in the spirit of Democracy, go vote for whoever you want and then vote in the WaB Sports Election.
Our main issue? Which sports pair would you vote for to be President and Vice President of the United States of America?
Peyton and Eli Manning
You knew this pair was going to make an appearance, so I’ll just get it out of the way. Peyton would take the helm, while Eli would man the Senate. I’m pretty sure they would carry the Southern states pretty well, except maybe Alabama. Plus, Peyton wouldn’t have to struggle for any campaign airtime on your television. Also, these two have some entreprenurial experience as well which can only help their cause. The Mannings would also have the perfect PR director for their firm in their Dad, Archie Manning. Basically, if you cast your ballot for one Manning, you vote for them all. Even you, Cooper.
Tiger Woods and Roger Federer
Maybe you prefer pure dominance in your Presidential Candidates. If that’s the case, it gets no better than Tiger Woods and Roger Federer. We’re obviously ignoring the whole natural born citizen part, but no one here is over 35 years old either. Anyway, these two have pretty much won everything they’ve ever entered so they had to be included. It should also be noted that if this pair was elected, the first lady would look like this. Not that it should have any bearing on your vote or anything.
Sidney Crosby and Alexander Ovechkin
Maybe it’s youthful exuberance and unlimited potential that you look for. Crosby and Ovechkin make up the youngest pair in the running with a combined age of 44 years old (not technically old enough to run for Office, but whatever). They also have had the burden of carrying what some consider a dying sport squarely on their shoulders for the last couple of years. Economic crisis should be easy. With Crosby and Ovechkin in office, we would also see relations with Canada and Russia improve dramatically, which can only be a good thing.
Michael Jordan and LeBron James
This one is for the people who like a nice mix of dominance, plus a little bit of the old school and a little bit of the new school. We first thought Scottie Pippin was the best choice for VP, but upon further review, he was kind of a jerk. Jordan is the best player ever LeBron may be in line to challenge for that crown, so by running for President, Jordan could mentor on just about everything. Except gambling. They wouldn’t be able to talk about gambling. The only problem with this pairing would be this. That little stumble might be tough to overcome.
Bill Belichick and Tom Brady
Our last pair represents the win at all costs people. Belichick has shown that he has no problem breaking the rules to get an advantage. Maybe that’s how you want your country run. Tom Brady can do most of the press conferences and public appearances since Belichick isn’t real big on those. He also doesn’t date Gisele. He does, however, hold goats in a nice, loving way. Anyway, Belichick knows Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin pretty well already, so that’s good. Just imagine Belichick swearing oath in a cutoff hoodie. Weller obviously endorses this pair.
So there you have this year’s candidates. Choose wisely, because the fate of the free world may lie with goat boy if you don’t.
Filed under: Events | Tagged: Alexander Ovechkin, Bill Belichick, Election, Eli, Eli Manning, LeBron James, Michael Jordan, Peyton, Peyton Manning, President, Roger Fderer, Sidney Crosby, Tiger Woods, Tom Brady | 4 Comments »